Don't Mess with the Cuccos!
by YoungLinkZeldaFan123
Summary: This is an idea that Pyromania101 gave me. It's when Link attacks a Cucco too many times, and gets the ultimate punishment for it. It's actually kinda funny... Read and positively review please! Thank you! Please read the disclaimer and the Author's Note. Rated: T, just to be safe...


**Disclaimer: Hey! I'm sooo sorry that it's been sooo long since I last uploaded, but I've been real busy with school and stuff. This story wasn't my idea, it was Pyromania101's idea. Pyromania asked me to write it. So, I did. Pyromania did the editing and also added some extra things to the story. It's a quick little funny story that Pyromania came up with. I thank you, Pyromania, for giving me this idea and helping me with the editing, and making the story better. Well, I don't own the "Zelda" series, nor the characters. So, please read and positively review! Thank you! Let's go! **

**Don't**

**Mess**

**with**

**the**

**Cuccos!**

*****Kakariko Village*****

Link and Navi were heading to Kakariko Village. The guard at the entrance/exit gate to Kakariko Village nodded to Link and Navi, and Link and Navi nodded back to the guard. Link and Navi were heading to the Death Mountain Trail, so that they could get the Spiritual Stone of Fire.

On the way to the Death Mountain Trail, Link saw a Cucco. "Ooh! Look, Navi! A Cucco!" Link said excitedly. Since Link was only ten, he got excited about seeing things and animals easily. He really got excited about seeing Cuccos!

"Yes, Link. But do you remember what happened the last time you played with a Cucco? Remember how a whole bunch of them attacked you? So Link, don't ever play with a Cucco again…Understand?" Navi said seriously. She was really worried that the kid would want to play with a Cucco again, which would lead to a whole bunch of them attacking him.

"Don't worry; it won't happen again, Navi," said Link, as he ran over and grabbed the clucking Cucco. He picked it up with both of his hands and threw it a few meters away from him. He picked it up again and threw it again. He did this continuously.

"Link, stop! Please! Stop!" Navi shouted.

"Don't worry, Navi. It's going to be okay," Link said reassuringly. "Well, swords obviously don't hurt Cuccos, so I'm going to smack him with my sword!"

Saying this, he unsheathed his sword from its scabbard and smacked the Cucco's tail with it. The Cucco clucked loudly and after about ten hits on the Cucco's tail, the Cucco turned purple for a quick second. "Uh-oh..." Link said worriedly.

"Told ya," said Navi. She was also worried. All of a sudden, Cuccos out of no where came and attacked Link. He fell to the ground on his back. He tried to swing his sword at the attacking Cuccos, but that just made them even more angry. They were pecking at him and flapping their wings at him. Link was screaming, and there was nothing Navi could do. She tried to call for help, but nobody would come help the young boy being attacked by vicious Cuccos. Heartless, careless people!

"Hey! Cuccos! Stop it!" hollered an unfamiliar voice. The Cuccos didn't listen to the unfamiliar voice. They just kept on attacking the poor ten-year-old boy.

"I said, stop it!" hollered the unfamiliar voice again. Suddenly, all of the Cuccos stopped attacking Link. "Boy, are you all right?" Link opened his eyes to see who was talking to him and he saw a beautiful young woman. She had shoulder-length red hair, a red shirt with white sleeves, and a blue skirt. The red-headed woman helped Link up from the ground. "Are you okay?" the red-headed woman asked.

Link was still shook up from the Cucco attack. He had tears rolling down his face. Where the Cuccos pecked him, which was pretty much everywhere, stung badly. "Yeah… I'm fine… Thanks…" answered Link, relieved that the Cuccos stopped attacking him.

"That's good, because you're about to get the punishment of your life for attacking my Cuccos!" said the red-headed woman angrily.

"What?! No! Please! No!" shouted Link worriedly.

"Yes. Now, come on, you little brat!" said the red-headed woman angrily, as she grabbed onto Link's pointed ear and pulled him to where she lived. Link was trying to pull away from the red-headed woman's grasp, but that just made her pulling on his ear hurt even more. He didn't want to accidentally cause her to tear it off! Link cried out in pain, as the red-headed woman pulled him by his ear.

As soon as Link and the red-headed woman got to her place, the red-headed woman slammed the door behind them. Then, she pulled him by his pointed ear to a table and chair in the middle of the room. The red-headed woman firmly sat on the chair and let go of Link's ear. Link tried to get away from her, but she grabbed onto him before he could. She literally picked him up by his waist and firmly placed him over her lap. There was a wooden stirring spoon on the table beside them. She grabbed the wooden stirring spoon off of the table and smacked his bottom with it. He yelled in pain every time she smacked him with it.

She did it again and again until he started crying, "Stop! Please! Stop!"

The red-headed woman shouted, "No! If you mess with my Cuccos, this is what you get, kid!"

"I'm sorry!" cried Link.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! You're still getting your punishment!" shouted the red-headed woman. And the red-headed woman continued to spank Link's rear with the wooden stirring spoon.

After a few moments of spanking, the red-headed woman stopped. She set the wooden stirring spoon on the table beside them. Link wept, and cried, "Stop, Miss… Please…"

"I think I'm done now. So tell me kid, what's your name and where are your parents?"

"My name's Link," answered Link, still crying a bit from being spanked. "And I don't have any parents. I come from the Kokiri Forest…"

"Come on, kid," the woman said firmly. "You can't be from the Kokiri Forest: The Kokiri never leave the forest. Never. I've never seen a Kokiri out of the forest before, so don't lie to me, kid. Where. Are. Your. Parents?"

"It's the truth! I swear! I left the forest because I'm the Hero of Hyrule… That's what I've been told by the Great Deku Tree anyway!" said Link.

"Yes, kid. I know every child dreams of being a hero, but that won't get you out of this situation you're in. So, you might as well tell me where your parents are," the red-headed woman said sternly.

"It's the truth! The honest to Goddesses truth! Please, Miss… Please believe me," Link pleaded.

"My name is Anju. Now, tell me where your parents are, or else I'll spank you again, only harder," Anju said, sternly.

"PLEASE, MISS ANJU! I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH! I _AM_ A KOKIRI! PLEASE DON'T SPANK ME AGAIN!" shouted Link.

"All right then, you asked for it," said Anju.

"No! Please!" shouted Link.

"Tell me where your parents are, and I'll stop," said Anju.

"I just told you… I don't have any parents… I'm from the Kokiri Forest!" Link said, honestly.

"Boy, you do love this punishment, don't you?" asked Anju.

Instead of grabbing the wooden stirring spoon off of the table that was beside them again, she decided to actually use her bare hand to spank him. She spanked him more than five times. Again, he yelled and cried, but that didn't stop Anju from spanking him.

"I (SPANK!) hope (SPANK!) you'll (SPANK!) learn (SPANK!) your (SPANK!) lesson (SPANK!) from (SPANK!) this (SPANK!), boy!" Anju said, punctuating each word with a stinging slap.

Link couldn't feel his behind anymore. It was numb. "I-I'm sorry… I won't ever harm your Cuccos again, Miss…" Link barely said, since he was out of breath.

Anju spanked him a few more times, then stopped. She rested her hand on the boy's now cherry red rear.

"I don't think you will… I think you've learned your lesson. If you have parents or not, you've been punished enough," said Anju. "You may go now."

Anju helped Link off of her lap by gently lifting him by his waist and back onto the floor. Link limped to the main door. He limped because his bottom hurt so bad. Before Link could open the main door, Anju said, "Hey, Link."

Link turned around, facing Anju. "Good luck at being Mr. Hero. See ya around." Then, Anju winked at him. Link tried to smile slightly, but his behind was in too much pain to do so.

Link opened the main door and headed out of Anju's house. "Hey Link, are you all right?" Navi asked her companion.

"No… I think she broke my butt," answered Link, wincing.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't in there with you, bud," Navi said sorrowfully. "She slammed the door in my face, so I couldn't get in. I guess she couldn't see me. I heard everything in there, though. I wish there was something I could have done."

"It's okay, Navi," Link said. "Come on. Let's go to Hyrule Field, so that I can sit my butt down in the ice cold river."

"That sounds good…" said Navi.

Link and Navi left Kakariko Village. Unbeknownst to the duo, Anju was watching them from her window. She had a smile on her face, and she thought, 'That kid was telling the truth: He has a fairy companion. I didn't see the fairy. I must have slammed the door in its face. I didn't even see it there. It would have saved Link a lot of pain if I saw it. Oh well, it's too late now.' And she walked away from the window.

*****Hyrule Field*****

Link and Navi got to Hyrule Field where Zora's River was flowing at a slow current. Link limped down to the slowly flowing river, sat on the bank, and rested his behind in the ice cold river water. "Ahh… This feels so much better," said Link, relieved.

"Yeah, but you _do_ realize that you're now gonna go around with a wet bottom," said Navi.

"Yeah, I did think about that," Link said. "Well, I'd rather go around with a wet butt than have my butt numb and sore."

"Yeah, I guess I would, too," said Navi.

After a few more minutes of sitting in Zora's River, Link decided to stand back up. His behind wasn't as numb or sore as it was before. Now, Link, the Hero of Hyrule, was going to save Hyrule with a wet **. They shall call him Link, The Wet-** Hero.

**The End**

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! Once again, thank you, Pyromania101, for giving me the idea and helping me with it. Review positively please! Thank you! More stories very soon! Love y'all!**

**- ZeldaFan123**


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